Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Moof

Little Dude's Canine Etiquette

Dear Little Dude,

My retriever (lab) buried a new pair of sneakers, work gloves, and a 5-gallon bucket 1/2 full of dog food somewhere on Chehalem Mt. Do you have any advice???
Sincerely yours,
Shoeless & Gloveless in Newberg

Dear Shoeless,

I think your retriever is going the wrong direction. Dogs that have retriever in their names are supposed to bring things, not run away with them. You should have a considerable pile of sticks, rocks, pieces of bark, dried horse droppings and such piled up next to the door.

Dogs are monstrous thieves. Big Red likes to go into the laundry basket and bring back the the most embarrassing items offering to play tug or dainty keep away until the girl biscuit provider barks in her most amazing high pitch human way. It is all great fun and attention and it guarantees the girl biscuit provider gets to make semi annual trips to K-Mart for dainty replacements.

Have you considered canine Feng Shui? If you have a lab that brings the wrong direction, try balancing your canine's karma with a lab of the opposite color. If black then yellow, if chocolate then creme. One lab to take, the other lab to fetch. Double the hugs and snuggles!
Moof-Moof,
Little Dude